Hope Remains
by ExcaliburMaiden
Summary: Love lingered long after wars, treaties and courtly gossip. The princess knew she couldn't dismiss the remnants of her affections toward King Arthur's manservant easily. Maybe she wouldn't need to?


Mordred wasn't the real reason she'd requested Merlin's presence tonight. However his constant reproach towards him further kindled her anger. He pushed the young knight away...just like he'd done to her once. After his inattentiveness towards her and the chilly reception he`d given the boy, she could no longer ignore her nagging doubts. His letters had become more and more scarce overtime. He was just busy or at least that's what she wanted to believe. Now she'd come to Camelot and faced the bitter truth. He'd changed. She didn't know what caused it, but she intended to find out.

As time passed and the sky darkened she wondered if he would turn up at all. She stood in front of the domed window overlooking the courtyard. The torchlight blazed in the darkness and cast an amber light against the stone. The princess drew the heavy, velvet curtains shut and turned away from the window. Her lonely footsteps and the crackling fireplace across the room were all that broke the silence.

He wasn't wasn't surprised, but the sting of rejection was no less painful. When had he become such a coward? If he no longer cared for her then he could`ve just told her so. Mithian felt herself restraint slipping. All her life she'd been schooled to conceal her emotions behind a mask of tranquility. But now she wanted to storm down the castle corridors and drag Merlin out of Gaius` quarters by his neckerchief.

Lost in heartbreak and anger she'd barely noticed the door when it creaked open. He emerged from the shadows, clad in his usual attire and appearing weary. He was always weary whether from an unspoken burden or a demanding chore. No...She wouldn't pity him. He didn't deserve it. Instead she focused on the fireplace, watching the climbing flames and flying sparks. She didn't invite him to sit. She wasn't in the mood for exchanging meaningless greetings. Mithian`s muscles tensed when the chair across from her scraped against the stone floor.

Pent up emotions burst free like rushing waters from a cracked dam. Mithian wouldn`t hold back and wasn't certain she could even if she wished it. She went straight to the heart of the matter.

"Can't you see what you`re doing?" the princess challenged, fury coloring her pale cheeks."You're pushing him away just like you pushed me away once."

She wasn't certain whether he was surprised by the accusation or the comparison. His unfathomably blue eyes were unreadable.

"I made amends," he defended. "Besides, this is different. You're not like him."

"I don't see any difference," she argued, refusing to be swayed by him. "Your concern for Arthur is causing you to misjudge Mordred`s intentions. He's been nothing but loyal."

"I wish he would remain so," the manservant replied, seeming to look past her and into the unknown. There was a hint of wistfulness in his tone despite the ever present, dark sense of finality. She couldn't read him anymore. He was becoming as distant and unfamiliar as the surrounding shadows. Yet she wouldn't give up.

"Give him a chance, and he might surprise you."

"I'm not sure it's a risk I can take."

His sobering confession cooled her wrath for a fleeting moment. When did Merlin fail to take risks? In her eyes his reckless nature was born from a courage that few men could match. Once she saw him as someone who lived by his convictions.

"You can't decide what`s best for others," she admonished without hesitation. " Arthur is a man, and a king no less. Trust him to make the right choice."

"You don't understand," he said. His quiet, controlled tone took on an uncharacteristic sharpness, but this didn't faze her. They`d reached the point of no return now.

"Then explain it to me!" she demanded.

"I can't," he offered lamely. "It`s..."

"Complicated," the young woman interrupted. "I`m tired of your secrets and half-truths."

"I just need you to trust me. You never had trouble doing so before."

"You`ve never acted like this before."

"What happened to the woman who once had faith in me?" Merlin asked, piercing gaze fixed on her.

"That's not fair!" Mithian exclaimed. "It's you who've changed." His quiet accusation ignited a defiance in her that he'd rarely seen.

"Times have changed," he said gravely. "My duty commands what I become."

"Everything always comes back to Arthur," she accused, wondering how someone could be so blindly devoted.

"What's that supposed to mean?" he asked, brows furrowing.

"There's more to life than duty," she answered with an exasperated sigh.

"Not all of us can afford to pass our time with idle whims," he retorted.

The young woman gasped like she`d experienced a physical blow. "Idle whim... Is that what I am in your eyes?"

Regret softened his features after the cruel, careless words tumbled from his lips. "That`s not what I meant."

"Of course not," she scoffed, gathering her silken skirts and rising from her seat. She strode towards her chamber door and flung it open.

"Get out!"

Perhaps the young man deserved his lover`s scorn, but he wouldn't let things end this way. She refused his advances and ushered him out into the corridor. He caught the door before she could close it.

"Just tell me what you want," he whispered.

"What do you think?" she replied. The princess might've found his obliviousness amusing if the circumstances were different. Right now she was beyond furious!

Motivated by anger and unfulfilled desire, she stalked towards him. She hated the dispassionate stranger he'd become and wanted to rediscover the man she'd fallen in love with. The princess surprised the manservant and herself by what she did next. She quickly closed the space between them, grabbing him by his coat collar and capturing his mouth with her own. He relaxed after the initial surprise and readily reciprocated, arms encircling her slender waist. His tongue eagerly plunged between her parted lips, curling around hers and battling for dominance.

Everything became a blur when her lips met his, and she couldn't remember how they'd ended up in her chambers again. She was beyond caring, and her thoughts were only of him.

After thoroughly exploring her mouth, he pulled back and rest his forehead against hers. Eyes shut as their short, warm breaths mingled together. They paused for a fleeting moment of clarity before pent up emotions and unbridled lust overcame them. He planted a firm kiss on her soft lips then trailed kisses along her jaw and down her neck. Mithian`s heart beat quickened, breasts straining against her bodice. Yet his kisses weren't enough to atone for all the lonely nights.

Once again she surprised him with her boldness. She reached out and circled her arms around his neck. He lifted her up, and she wrapped her slender legs around his narrow hips. She gasped when he pushed her up against the wall and her back brushed against the cold, rough stone. The chill seeping through the thin fabric of her olive green dress was forgotten when she felt eager hands push up her layered underskirts. He sought out the warmth between her legs and thrust into her. A whimper escaped her throat as his skilled fingers nearly sent her crashing over the edge. Merlin might`ve snickered at her cry of protest when he withdrew his fingers if he weren't so aroused. He wanted to plunder her, and Mithian seemed more than willing.

He scooped her up in his arms and laid her down on the soft rug. Mithian lit fire under his skin when she touched him. His painfully hardening length strained against his trousers. He loosened his trousers, but not before noticing the lustful gaze that mirrored his own. Merlin pushed up her skirts and pulled off her undergarments. He positioned himself between her legs, thrusting again and again until his seed filled her womb. Soon she reached her peak, shuddering and giving way to the rushing heat.

* * *

She`d awoken shortly after the sun's golden rays peeked through the small opening of the curtains. The young woman lie still, head nestled on a satin pillow and with her dark hair fanning over the stark whiteness. She watched him sleep as the soft, morning light framed his face, accenting every curve and angle. An unanswered question still clawed at her heart.

Knowing their physical attraction remained strong meant very little if she didn`t possess his heart. Merlin still held hers even if he no longer valued it. Love lingered long after wars, treaties and courtly gossip. The princess knew she couldn't dismiss the remnants of her affections toward King Arthur's manservant easily. Maybe she wouldn't need to?

As if sensing her inner turmoil he awoke and turned over, facing her. It was now or never.

"So.." she drawled purposefully, propping her head up with one arm and resting her chin on her hand.

"So..." he repeated, brushing aside the tousled, dark locks obscuring her lovely face with his index finger.

"What will become of us?" she clarified, brown eyes drifting to the space between them and then meeting his gaze. He looked away and stared down at the white sheets partially covering their naked bodies.

"I don't know," Merlin admitted after what seemed like an eternity to Mithian.

After all that transpired she still hadn't gotten through to him! The despairing revelation was like a dagger to her heart. He nocited her crestfallen expression and added, "I can't promise I'll always be able to tell you everything, but I'll try."

"That's all I ask," she replied, feeling encouraged by the hopeful glimmer on the dark horizon.

"You deserve better, and I'm sorry ", Merlin said sincerely.

"You can spend the day making amends," Mithian teased with a heartwarming smile.

Their relationship wasn't all that needed mending, and she knew it. She had yet to discover what demons lie behind his forced smile and distant gaze. There was still hope. She hadn't lost him completely. This was just the start of a challenging journey and as always the princess would rise to the occasion.


End file.
